When Words Matter Most: Supporting Loved Ones in Times of Need
As I sped down the highway with my husband, my heart raced with every mile. Just hours before, during our Sunday morning worship service, I received a devastating text from our dear friends. Their teenage son had passed away unexpectedly, leaving us all stunned and numb. We rushed to their side, unsure of what to say or do, but knowing we had to be there.
In that moment, I entered uncharted waters as a friend. I wanted to support my friends in their darkest hour, but I was unsure how. I knew that my words had the power to either help or hurt, and I desperately wanted to get it right.
The Power of Silence
As I reflect on that day, I realize that sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is simply be present. When Job’s friends initially sat with him in silence, they showed compassion and empathy. It was only when they began to speak that hurtful words flowed out. Their well-meaning but misguided attempts to offer explanations and advice only added to Job’s pain.
Speaking from the Heart
As we strive to support our loved ones in times of need, it’s essential to examine our own hearts. Jesus taught that the words we speak come from the attitudes we harbor in our hearts. If our hearts are filled with kindness, compassion, and wisdom, our words will reflect that. But if our hearts are filled with pride, ignorance, or selfishness, our words can cause harm.
Reading the Room
To ensure our words are helping, not hurting, we must pay attention to the person’s body language. Are they leaning back, crossing their arms, or avoiding eye contact? These non-verbal cues can indicate that our words are missing the mark. By slowing down and observing our surroundings, we can adjust our approach and show sensitivity to their emotions.
What Not to Say
Before we consider what to say when someone is suffering, let’s clear the table of what not to say. Avoid careless words that sound trite, such as “Everything will be okay” or “It was meant to be.” These statements can come across as insensitive and dismissive of their pain. Refrain from sharing verses or phrases of Scripture out of context, as this can lead to confusion and misinterpretation. And avoid making theological statements that aren’t grounded in biblical truth, as this can be damaging to their faith.
By being mindful of our words and actions, we can create a safe space for our loved ones to process their emotions and find comfort in our presence. As we navigate the complexities of supporting those in need, may we remember the power of silence, the importance of speaking from the heart, and the need to read the room.
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