The Unintentional Troubles in Marriage
Marriage is not always easy, but the difficulties we face are often not intentional or personal. Our spouse’s actions may hurt us, but most of the time, it’s not because they’re trying to make our life difficult. Instead, it’s usually a result of their own sin, weakness, and failure.
The Reality of Sin in Marriage
As sinners, we all bring our own set of flaws and imperfections into our marriage. We can be selfish, speak unkindly, and experience jealousy, bitterness, and conflict. However, when we see our spouse’s sin, weakness, or failure, it’s not an accident; it’s an opportunity for growth and change. God uses these moments to help us become agents of his rescue and transformation in our spouse’s life.
Forgiveness: A Vertical Commitment
Forgiveness begins with giving the offense to God. This means we don’t carry the wrong with us or treat our spouse with judgment. Instead, we entrust ourselves to God’s mercy and justice, and we commit to responding to our spouse with the same grace we’ve been given.
The Hard Work of Marriage
Marriage requires hard work and dedication. It’s not just about romance; it’s about making a commitment to care for each other, discipline ourselves, and think of the other person’s needs. We must be willing to sign up for the hard work ourselves, rather than relying on our spouse to do all the heavy lifting.
Gardening: A Metaphor for Marriage
Marriage is like gardening. It takes hard work, dedication, and patience to cultivate a beautiful relationship. We must clear the land, dig holes, water, and weed regularly to create an environment where love and grace can grow.
Sex: The Fruit of a Good Relationship
Sex is not the fuel of a good relationship; it’s the expression or fruit of one. When we drag our sin into our marriage, it affects our intimacy and vulnerability. As sinners, we need to pull personal and relational weeds daily so that the flowers of love and grace may grow.
6 Gospel-Centered Commitments
Popular author and pastor Paul David Tripp encourages readers to make 6 gospel-centered commitments to make Jesus Christ the foundation of their marriages. These commitments include:
- Forgiveness as a vertical commitment
- Responding to our spouse with the same grace we’ve been given
- Making a commitment to care for each other
- Disciplining ourselves to think of the other person’s needs
- Creating an environment where love and grace can grow
- Building a relationship that honors God
By understanding the realities of sin in marriage and making these gospel-centered commitments, we can build a strong foundation for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
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