The Surprising Truth About Marriage
When it comes to marriage, there’s one Bible verse that’s often quoted: “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) But have you ever stopped to think about what that really means?
Unpacking the Meaning of “Cleave”
The Hebrew verb used in this verse is “davaq,” which translates to “cleave” or “cling.” But it’s not the verb we might expect, especially if we think that becoming one flesh is all about romance and passion. Instead, “davaq” is more about stickiness, like gluing things together. It’s a middle-of-the-road, passive response verb that’s not typically associated with erotic intimacy.
A Deeper Look at “Davaq”
So, why does “davaq” show up in this quintessential verse about marriage? To understand, let’s look at how it’s used in other contexts. In relationships between people, “davaq” can describe both friendly and hostile circumstances. It’s used to describe relationships between members of the same sex, and in Wisdom literature, it parallels the verb “ahav,” which means “to love.” We even see it used to describe Israel’s relationship with God.
What “Davaq” Really Means
The wide range of applications tells us something important: “davaq” doesn’t carry the emotional, erotic, passionate nuances we might expect. Instead, it’s about deliberate commitment. Even when used in hostile circumstances, it’s about willful, considered attachment. This helps us understand why Genesis 2:24 uses “davaq” instead of “hashaq,” the verb for adhering to someone in love.
The True Nature of Marriage
Marriage, then, is not based on emotional, physical, or psychic attraction. It’s a deliberate commitment to stick together, a covenant activity. This is why, in the Torah, marriage can be arranged by families without any interaction between the bride and groom. It’s not about how we feel; it’s about the glue that holds us together.
A New Perspective on Compatibility
So, the next time you hear about the importance of compatibility in marriage, remember that glue comes in only one flavor. And, by the way, did you notice that it’s the man who does the sticking? This verse is not just about romance; it’s about commitment, loyalty, and permanence.
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