The Toxic Trap of Being Right: How Correctness Kills Conversation

The Hidden Dangers of Being Right

When it comes to storytelling, we’ve all been there – interrupting our partner or friend mid-sentence to correct a minor detail. But have you ever stopped to think about the impact this has on the story, the audience, and most importantly, the storyteller?

The Story Loses Its Purpose

Imagine being at a party and your partner begins to share a memorable experience you both shared. But just as they’re getting to the good part, you jump in to correct a minor detail. “No, that was two years ago, not last year.” Suddenly, the focus shifts from the story to the accuracy of the details. The audience becomes distracted, and the storyteller starts to feel frustrated, angry, and even unworthy.

The Consequences of Correctness

This phenomenon is not limited to storytelling. In conversations, Bible studies, and even everyday discussions, we often feel the need to add our two cents or correct others. But what drives this behavior? Is it a desire to be right, to be seen as knowledgeable, or to simply be heard? Whatever the reason, it can lead to some unsettling consequences.

The Silent Majority

When we constantly correct or add to others’ statements, we may inadvertently silence those who are less confident or less knowledgeable. They may feel intimidated or overwhelmed, leading them to withdraw from the conversation altogether. This can stifle meaningful discussions and create an atmosphere of competition rather than collaboration.

Ahlberg’s Wisdom

Adele Ahlberg Calhoun, author of Invitations from God, sheds light on this issue. She notes that couples often get caught up in debates over minor details, refusing to admit they might be wrong. One partner may prioritize accuracy, while the other focuses on the bigger picture. Calhoun’s words strike a chord: “The type of humility that admits you are wrong when you know you are wrong is confession. The humility that admits you might be wrong when you’re pretty sure you’re right is maturity.”

The Power of Humility

So, what can we do differently? By embracing humility and acknowledging that we might not always be right, we can create a safe space for others to share their thoughts and stories. We can focus on the bigger picture, rather than getting bogged down in minor details. And we can cultivate a sense of maturity that allows us to listen, learn, and grow together.

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