Embracing the Cross: Finding Freedom from Anxiety
My life has been intertwined with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) since I was just ten years old. It’s like a constant, maddening hum in the background of my mind – a relentless barrage of unwanted thoughts and images that refuse to quiet. These intrusions spark a frenzy of anxious prayers, which often devolve into hollow repetitions that only serve to strengthen the original distress.
The Cycle of Anxiety
I’ve pleaded with God to release me from this torment, but my OCD has become a constant reminder of my reliance on Him. It’s a thorn in my side, a persistent affliction that forces me to surrender to His grace. The more I try to push these thoughts away, the more they seem to take hold. It’s a vicious cycle, one that I’ve struggled to break free from.
The Power of Surrender
But I’ve come to realize that the true antidote to my OCD-sparked anxiety lies not in trying to control or suppress these thoughts, but in abandoning myself to God’s grace. It’s a daily choice to entrust my anxiety to Him, rather than capitulating to my compulsions. Following Jesus means embracing death daily – dying to my own desires, my need for control, and my illusions of security.
The Resurrection of Hope
This journey of self-denial and endurance is not unique to me. Perhaps your cross is a different kind of affliction – a choice to surrender something that promises comfort, reputation, or control, but ultimately hinders your ability to live for God’s Kingdom and purposes. But here’s the promise: when we lose our lives for His sake, we gain everything. True security, comfort, joy, and acceptance await those who follow Jesus through the hard roads of death.
A Prayer of Surrender
Lord Jesus, thank you for your promise of resurrection and hope. Grow my willingness to deny myself and follow you, even when the road ahead seems uncertain. Thank you for your presence with me on these difficult journeys, and for the promise of true life that awaits me on the other side. Amen.
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