Raising Children Who Understand God’s Law and Grace
As Christian parents, we want our children to do the right things. But in trying to avoid raising kids who are rebellious and disobedient, we may inadvertently raise ones who follow the rules out of control rather than love.
The Problem with Legalism
In the classic children’s book “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever,” Alice Wendleken is a prime example of a child who follows the rules to earn favor and control. She keeps a list of every naughty and irreverent thing the Herdman kids do, hoping to prove her own righteousness. But this kind of legalism can lead to a burden that separates us from God and others.
God’s Law Reveals His Character
So why did God give us his law? For one thing, he knows what’s best for us, and his rules teach us to act in ways that benefit us and those around us. More importantly, God’s law reveals his holy, just, and good character. It shows us that he cares about marginalized people, hates harm to innocent ones, and loves kindness and justice.
The Law Shows Our Need for God
However, God’s law also shows us how far we fall short of his standard. Paul says in Romans 7:13 that through the law, “sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandments might become sinful beyond measure.” This realization should drive us to seek God’s grace and mercy.
Teaching Children the Law and Grace
As parents, we want to teach our children to follow God’s law, but we must also show them their need for God’s grace. We can do this by explaining the law in a way that reveals God’s character and by pointing out our own failures and need for forgiveness. When we as parents apologize to our children and confess our own sins, we model God’s love and mercy.
The Parable of the Prodigal Son
Jesus’s parable of the prodigal son tells a similar story to “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.” A rebellious younger brother tries to create his own path, but ends up in misery. Meanwhile, an older brother keeps a record of his brother’s wrongdoings, comparing them to his own good deeds. But the father welcomes both brothers home, showing that God’s love and mercy extend to both the rebellious and the self-righteous.
Escaping the Trap of Saving Ourselves
Timothy Keller says, “The hearts of the two brothers were the same… Neither son loved the father for himself. They both were using their father for their self-centered ends rather than loving, enjoying, and serving him for his own sake.” The only way out of this trap is through God’s grace, which we can experience when we acknowledge our own failures and need for forgiveness.
Raising Children Who Understand God’s Grace
By teaching our children both law and grace, we can help them see the tragedies of both legalism and rebellion. We can show them the beauty of God’s goodness and mercy through the life, death, and resurrection of his Son. Once we see God’s grace to us, we can extend it to others in love, living in community with God and each other.
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