Parenting with Purpose: Raising Kids on the Gospel, Not Good Behavior

Raising Children with the Gospel: An Interview with Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson

As parents, we want our children to grow up with a strong foundation in their faith. But how do we achieve this? In a recent interview, Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson, authors of Give Them Grace, shared their insights on parenting with the Gospel.

The Law and the Gospel

Fitzpatrick and Thompson emphasized the importance of teaching children the law, but not as a means to make them good. Rather, the law should be used to show children their need for a Savior. “The law is powerless to transform anyone’s heart,” they explained. “It breeds pride or despair.” Instead, parents should focus on giving their children the Gospel, connecting every aspect of it to their daily lives.

The Dangers of Moralism

The authors warned against the dangers of moralism, where parents focus on outward behavior rather than inner transformation. This approach can lead to children becoming proud and self-righteous, or despairing and giving up. “Rules will make the rebel despair and give up,” they said. “He’ll say, ‘Christianity doesn’t work for me. I can’t be that good.’”

Parenting with the Gospel

So, what does it mean to parent with the Gospel? According to Fitzpatrick and Thompson, it means being reliant on the Holy Spirit and prayer. It means not forcing children to pray or share, but rather trusting the Spirit to work in their hearts. It also means being open and honest about our own sin, showing children that we are all sinners in need of a Savior.

Training and Discipline

But what about training and discipline? Don’t children need to learn obedience? Absolutely, say the authors. However, this should be done within the context of the Gospel. “We’re to train our children to obey, but just as long as we understand what their obedience means,” they explained. “It doesn’t mean that they’re righteous or that they make Jesus smile.”

Assuming the Gospel

One of the biggest mistakes parents make is assuming that their children know the Gospel. This can lead to a weak and watered-down message, rather than the powerful and scandalous message of the cross. “Only the truths of the Gospel can transform our hearts,” Fitzpatrick and Thompson emphasized.

Conclusion

Parenting with the Gospel is not easy, but it is essential for raising children who will grow up to be strong in their faith. By focusing on the Gospel, rather than moralism or rules, parents can help their children develop a deep understanding of God’s love and grace. As Fitzpatrick and Thompson so eloquently put it, “The Gospel is to be the milieu of our parenting—what our parenting is soaked in.”

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