The Forgotten Value of Singleness
In our culture, singleness is often viewed as a temporary state, a mere stepping stone to marriage. But what if we told you that singleness is not only a valid choice but also a valuable asset to the church? Sam Allberry, author of “7 Myths about Singleness,” shares his personal experiences and biblical insights to help us rethink our understanding of singleness.
Rethinking Our Assumptions
Allberry’s own story is a testament to the fact that singleness is not just a season of life but a lifelong calling for many. As he grew older, he realized that being single in his forties was different from being single in his twenties. The challenges and opportunities that come with singleness change over time, and yet, we often fail to acknowledge these differences.
The Conversational Cul-de-Sac
When we meet someone new, we often ask about their job, family, or marital status. But when someone says they’re single, the conversation can come to a halt. We don’t know what to say next or how to respond. This awkwardness stems from our assumption that marriage is the norm, and singleness is somehow lesser.
Jesus and Paul: Unmarried and Unashamed
We often forget that Jesus and Paul, two of the most influential figures in Christianity, were never married. If the most fully human person who ever lived was never married, being unmarried can’t be a diminishment of one’s humanity. Paul’s writings, especially in 1 Corinthians 7, highlight the benefits of singleness, including the ability to serve the Lord without distraction.
The Gift of Singleness
Paul calls singleness a gift, just like marriage. It’s a positive state from the Lord, not a consolation prize for those who can’t find a partner. Singleness allows for flexibility and freedom to serve others, unencumbered by the responsibilities that come with marriage and family.
The Idolatry of Romantic Fulfillment
Our culture has idolized romantic and sexual fulfillment, and Christians have unwittingly bought into this framework. We’ve narrowed our view of intimacy to romantic and sexual relationships, forgetting that the Bible values nonromantic intimacy, such as friendship and family. We need to rediscover the art of biblical friendship and cultivate a culture that honors and cherishes all forms of intimacy.
Practical Steps for the Church
So, what can churches do to affirm and support singles? They can teach on the positives of singleness, cultivate a culture of biblical friendship, and intentionally include singles in family life. Married couples can open up their families to include singles, providing a sense of belonging and community.
A Final Word of Encouragement
To those struggling with singleness, Allberry offers a word of encouragement: marriage is not the answer to life’s struggles. Singleness has its own unique challenges, but it also offers opportunities for growth, service, and intimacy with others. Let’s recognize the value of singleness and celebrate its unique contributions to the church.
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