Finding “The One”: A Biblical Perspective on Marriage and Singleness
As a single person, it’s natural to wonder if there’s someone out there who is “the one” for you. But what does the Bible say about finding a spouse? Is there only one person out there for each of us, or can we choose from among many potential partners?
Honoring Your Spouse
When we choose to marry someone, we honor that person by selecting them above all others. This is a beautiful expression of love and commitment, and it reflects the biblical design for marriage. In Gospel-Shaped Marriage, Chad and Emily Van Dixhoorn offer practical advice for married life, emphasizing the importance of growth in Christ as the foundation for a healthy marriage.
Preparing for Marriage
Whether you’re single or married, growth in all areas is essential for the Christian life. As a single person, you can prepare yourself for marriage by pursuing humility, wisdom, prayerfulness, and the fruit of the Spirit. Consider developing skills that will enable you to bless your future spouse and family, such as cooking, budgeting, or childcare.
Biblical Qualities for Husbands and Wives
The Bible calls husbands to be servant-leaders, leading their wives by example and encouragement. Single men can prepare themselves for this role by finding godly men to mentor them. Women, on the other hand, are called to inner beauty, helpfulness, and respect for their husbands. Practicing these qualities now will help you become a godly spouse in the future.
Forgiveness: Essential for Marriage
One crucial aspect of any successful marriage is forgiveness. As Christians, we are called to forgive one another as Christ forgave us. Practicing forgiveness now, whether in friendships or family relationships, will help you develop the skills you need to forgive your spouse in the future.
Supporting Married Friends
If you have friends who are married, you can support them by praying for their growth in Christ and for their marriage. Pray that they would use God’s commands to serve each other, rather than nagging or criticizing one another. You can also offer practical help, such as babysitting or helping with household chores.
Is Singleness Missing Out?
As a single person, you may feel like you’re missing out on the blessings of marriage. But the Bible says that singleness is not inherently inferior to marriage. In fact, Paul writes that single people can serve the Lord unencumbered by the care for a spouse (1 Cor. 7:32-35). Ultimately, our hope is not in earthly marriage, but in the perfect marriage between Christ and his bride, the church.
Conclusion
Finding “the one” is not the ultimate goal of the Christian life. Rather, our aim should be to grow in Christ, whether we are single or married. By pursuing humility, wisdom, and forgiveness, we can become the kind of people who will make godly spouses, if that is God’s plan for us. And if we remain single, we can trust that God is using our singleness to make us complete, lacking nothing.
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