Marriage: The Unavoidable Reality Check
When couples say “I do,” they often have high expectations for their marriage. But the truth is, no one is fully prepared for the realities of married life. Even with premarital counseling, it’s hard to anticipate the challenges that lie ahead.
The Problem with Unrealistic Expectations
According to Paul David Tripp, author of What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage, all couples enter marriage with unrealistic expectations. “It’s almost as though each potential husband and wife is motivated to dismiss the truth about what they will inevitably face,” he says. This can lead to disappointment and disillusionment when reality sets in.
A Biblical Perspective on Marriage
So, how can couples develop more realistic expectations and build a stronger marriage? Tripp suggests looking to Scripture for guidance. He identifies three key wisdom perspectives that can help couples navigate the challenges of marriage:
- Recognizing that every marriage becomes a struggle
- Understanding that spending time together is radically different from living together
- Embracing the fact that reasons for attraction can become sources of irritation
The Power of Worship in Marriage
At the heart of every marriage is a war of worship. According to Tripp, the fundamental problem of every marriage is misplaced worship. When we seek to get from our spouse what we were only meant to get from God, we set ourselves up for disappointment and conflict. But when we worship God and put Him first, we can begin to build a stronger, more loving relationship with our spouse.
Prayer: The Key to Reconciliation
Prayer is an essential part of building a strong marriage. When we pray for our marriage and pray together, we invite God into our relationship and ask Him to guide us. This can be a powerful way to reconcile conflicts and build a stronger bond with our spouse.
Don’t Give Up!
Every marriage faces challenges, but that doesn’t mean we should give up. With the right perspective, prayer, and a commitment to worshiping God, we can build a stronger, more loving relationship with our spouse. As Tripp says, “God will take you where you never thought you would go in order to give you what you could not achieve on your own.”
Reconciling Your Marriage
Reconciling your marriage begins with reconciling with God. When we pray the radical prayer, “Your kingdom come, your will be done, right here, right now in this marriage as it is in heaven,” we invite God to work in our relationship and guide us towards healing and restoration.
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